Free spirited...hair blowing in the breeze.......
My body is phenomenal...just how I always wanted....
I'm tan....I'm smiling....I am for the first time, happy with myself....
...............................................................................................................................................................
That was a dream I had the other night. A dream that included so many emotions in it, I was almost certain it was real. I dream practically all the time, but never with such strong emotion...I was a little stunned when I woke up. I wasn't sure where I was. I had just been on a beach, and now I was in a cold dark room...my bedroom.
I actually, in a way, despise those dreams. Not only do they take you a minute to gather yourself and make your mind realize that you were dreaming, but they also dismay you once you realize that your reality isn't at all like your dream.
But, at the same time, I love those dreams. They give you hope. They give you a sense of what you could have and/or be. They inspire you. Persuade you. They can utterly change you're view of something so much so that you just develop this urge to follow it....
I mean look at what Martin Luther King's dream inspired him to do....
Not that I need the persuasion to exercise....but that feeling I had. That feeling of complete happiness with MYSELF....that's what I want to have.
By the time I'm done with this training that's what I want to achieve. That feeling of happiness. That feeling of accomplishment. Knowing that I was able to make my body look like that....
That's what I want. What I strive for.
I would like to point out though, that in order for my dream to be complete, I have to grow my hair out, and get tan....so just two other things that have to happen before my dream is complete.
My ventures so far have been hard to say the least. I've exercised twice last week. Pitiful? Perhaps. But my muscles are not use to that kind of exertion yet. Which, is depressing because back when I was actively at it, I could do a full half hour of working out and go running without feeling any pain (this was after a full 2 weeks of working at it though).
When it comes to wanting to exercise, a lot of people say that there are no limitations to what you put your mind to....which in a sense is true. If you push yourself hard enough, there are no limitations...however you must also listen to your body. If it's too tired to be pushed any further, you could end up hurting yourself....which could in turn lead you to never want to work out again.
So, I just listened to my body, and relaxed it until I was able to walk without limping. Or lift my arm without searing pain running through it. Ugh.....
So this week, hopefully I'll be able to do a little bit more. Push myself a little bit harder...
While, some days I know it doesn't always seem worth the exercise your putting forth, it's important to always think of the bigger picture. How much you're helping yourself. Your health. And remembering that dream that you have of yourself. Of that happiness you'll have once you're there.
If you aren't happy with yourself....you have to think...what's holding you back?
Some inspiration, I recently read an article about a woman who lost her arms during a fire....she is now a female body builder. You can look it up if you want. But just think, if she can do it....why can't you?
Anyway, my stats for today:
Weight: 142 (so a bit of a jump from when I WAS exercising. Oh well....)
Endurance: Pretty terrible at this point
And my new added stat is...
Self Esteem: Low, but it's a work in progress. (This is more mental than physical. Hopefully becoming more active will help fix that).
Have a good week everyone!!
-Kala
