We live in a world full of judgmental people. We live in an age of judgmental society. No matter who you are or where you go, you are expected to act as a reasonable member of society.
Somehow over the years we have developed this "image" of what we expect people to look like. Where this image came from and who enforced it remains a mystery. But, I curse whoever did it.
Because of this image, people are constantly running through their lives questioning things about themselves that they shouldn't have to question. Am I too fat? Am I too ugly? Am I too skinny? Is my voice weird? Am I wrong for liking that girl? Am I wrong for not loving myself? What should my religion be? Should I follow in the footsteps of my parents? Am I wrong for getting a tattoo? Am I wrong for believing in the cause? Who am I?
The list just goes on and on. And frankly, I can't stand it.
There's all this talk of individualism and loving yourself for who you are. I laugh at this. Not because it isn't true, and not because I don't believe in it. I whole-heartedly believe in loving yourself. But because as a society we contradict this concept SO much.
I can't say I'm perfect at it either. I'm honestly one of the biggest contradicting person you'll meet. I try to tell myself I'm not, but there are some thing's that bother me. And while they're my own demons and inner thoughts, I do also blame the world we live in that encourage my way of thinking. All the media, social websites, and down right stubborn people have made me believe that I am right in my way of thinking. I'm right to think that I have to be stick thin to feel pretty. I'm right to think that just because I'm female, I'll never be as strong as a man.
Lately, I've stepped back and taken a hard look at who I am. Throughout the last couple weeks I've made a list of things that I've done that other's think wrong or stupid. But, the things on this list are who make me...me. And as I've looked at the list over and over again, I've realized that even if I wanted to change aspects of those parts of my life, I couldn't.
I grew up and formed these aspects of my personality. Whether it was enhanced through social media or not varies on the trait.
For example, I will NEVER have the high self esteem that I wish I had. It just won't happen. Not because I don't work out, eat right, or do anything about it. I do. But because we, as a society, have made the "perfect woman/man" unachievable.
Have you ever talked to beauty queens? Donned as the most beautiful and inspiring women, they still have something about themselves that they would probably like to change. And I'll be the first to admit that I've judge them as well. I mean, they're being judged on beauty, so mine as well put in my two sense right?
Yet I would do anything to look like some of those girls. Any of those girls. ALL of them. Because truthfully, they're gorgeous. All of them in they're own way. But, someone, somewhere, would trade any of them in for an overweight, Dorito eating chick who just likes to chill at home watching TV all the time. Who's to say she's not beautiful too? Where did the line between either those begin and end?
It's the same with personality. If you're not outgoing enough, suddenly people think you're stuck up. If you're too outgoing, people think you're annoying. If you have tattoo's and dreads, people think you're unsuccessful. If you don't have any tattoo's and dress modestly people think you're a "goody-two-shoes".
Therefore, because of these judgments we miss the opportunity on meeting people that we could probably really connect with. And frankly, it's just sad. I wish the world we're different. I wish I could talk to some people, just to see WHY they do things they do. Or just to learn something about them.
No, not everyone that you meet will defy those expectations that you have created in your head. Sometimes people are exactly what you expect them to be. In my mind, if you're covered with dreads and tattoo's then you are probably a druggy who makes a living off the government. And because of that, I won't talk to you because it would be clear that we have nothing in common. That, and I just wouldn't want to get to know you. Why, would I want that kind of influence on my life?
We judge people before we even get to know them. Clearly, I know, because as I just stated, I do it. Because in our minds, we have this standard of how people should act, what they should look like, and what they should be. And whether we know it or not we compare ourselves to that image, whatever it may be. Except, it's that image, PLUS the image of what society thinks you should be too.
Hence, the unachievable image. The image that we are always trying to reach, because there is always something off about us that we want to change because you don't want to be like those "other" people.
It bugs me and I wish we could break free of such a state. I wish the unachievable image was more along the lines of "Here's who you are. You are unique. Enjoy it."
I wonder how the world would be then?
