Focusing on me

I'm finally updating my blog again, after centuries of being away from it.

I do have a reasoning behind it though.

See, I've delved a lot on social media and what it does. For me, personally, it's a way of being as self-absorbed as possible. To somehow etched sympathy out of people, scrounge for compliments for my pictures I post, and to generally make me feel like an over-all likeable person.

For awhile I thought I was a bad person for doing this. I mean, for one to be so self absorbed as to post about themselves and talk about themselves daily. I didn't want to be that person. I don't want to be that person. However, focusing on this fact has made me realize....everyone does it. In fact, I feel as though it's a social norm to do it now.

Perhaps it's wrong. Perhaps it's not the way to go about doing things and letting everyone know what's going on in your life. I guess that's where discretion should be put into play. But, even now, it kind of feels good to be talking just about myself again. So, therefore, I'm going to join up in this social norm again. Starting now.

I've been really busy these last couple of week focusing on work and myself.

Not too long ago, I got out of 3+ year relationship. Dealing with that sort of thing is never easy, but for me it was like a screaming wake up call that I didn't see coming.

It made me take a step back and realize that everything I had thought I wanted or didn't want was all morphed around being with this person. I mean, I know that happens with being in a relationship for so long.....

I had thought I wanted to settle down at an early age, move to south where it's warmer, travel around a bit, and just live life as it may come.

Now that I'm alone, I realize that I don't want any of that. In fact, I'm not sure what I want. And I'm completely okay with that.

I like the prospect of just doing what ever life throws at me. I do whatever I want, when I want without having to answer to anyone as to why I did it. I'm figuring out that I actually like things that I thought I hated and how close minded I've been to these experiences.

This is in no way to offend people who have decided to settle down and live their life with someone. I mean, all the more power to you for being able to make that commitment to each other.

For me though, that's just a no go. In fact, the prospect of settling down right now at only 22 years old kind of scares me shitless to be honest. Give it like 3 years and with the right person, and maybe you can catch me walking down the isle.....just maybe.

But for now, I'm good with just settling down in my bed with my xbox and playing some Destiny.